[Poem] Again, From the Top

2008-11-18 @ 11:37 p.m.

this longing slices thin and red and i stare blank blank-faced into the blank mirror, blank-eyed, with a frown not to break my smile that's there behind, crisp, waiting to spring and leap with a falseness, is it false? i can't -- breathe when this need is smothering me got to reach out, grasp, anything, even you (you) when this putrefying rotten corpse of a world crumbles into dust i want you to be there (please) and i know you'll have gone, long gone, gone long gone long to wake with you there scent of you taste of you breath of you can't describe it / breath of you, want to breathe you but you, you, long gone -- but you are long gone because / transitory / rise / and fall again because none of this matters, trying to keep to the dance keep to the step keep to the sheet music -- one two three one two three waltz with me one two three white. blinding. like snow with a steady marching rhythm of dots that i / can't / read / and when i turn the page -- turn the page it slices shallow stinging red bleeding fingerprints like footprints. fingerprints dance across my page and that's the only dance i remember / step / one / two / three / wait please wait please wait, please, i forgot the crescendo -- can we start again?