[Poem] Pieces

2009-02-18 @ 3:02 p.m.

shards of me

I was alabaster and you pushed me off the ledge
I shattered on the ground and you gathered up the shards, holding them so tightly
in your long bronze fingers that
I saw them slice and cut and wound

your blood sealed my silence and my grief
your logic was the last word
to instigate my guilt

(so many)

scraps of me

I was a doll and you tore me in half
limb from limb, unstitched,
my stuffing spilling out and
you picked up what you could and held it close to your hearts

eventually I made my own needle and thread
and I wear patches of you both

(so many)

fragments of me

I was a mirror, reflecting
the world, every face every
thing I thought was worth it to hold onto
and when it came I tore myself from the wall
and threw my own self onto the ground and
watched as the glass fractured and the fragments sprayed like water and glitter and pain

I picked up the pieces and absorbed them into my heart
and sometimes the broken bits still wound

(so many)

splinters of me

built up like a palace, torn down
like an abandoned schoolhouse playground,
you each took parts of me I can never get back
one of you destroyed me with his hands, tearing me to pieces
one of you destroyed me with his love,
and I couldn't
couldn't take it any more
there's forgiveness in the wound, deep, buried
like an infection, but needed,

but I'll never heal fully, never
take back the splinters of me
still lodged in your hands, drowning thief,
and in your wicked poison tongue, dragon on fire

(so many)

strands of me

You knit me together in the beginning
before I knew myself and
cradled me, guided me,
and I was blind but then You opened my eyes
the pain was sometimes so real I couldn't stay together
I unraveled myself, and You cherished every strand of me

You wove me back together when I was falling apart

(so many)

pieces of me

and this is what it means
to have a rag doll's heart