[Poem] I Need

2008-08-13 @ 11:26 p.m.

I think I'm afraid.

Too many dreams can cloud a girl's mind,
and if I stretch out my hand,
the sharp edges might slice
through skin
red and raw
with self-loathing,
bleed me dry ...
and then what good would I be?

I think I'm afraid.

I need you to take me,
hold me tight,
not let me go ...
let me know
you're not gonna give up on me.

Because I give up on myself all the time.

I don't want a gilded bird cage,
don't want to be wrapped in pearls,
I don't want lies like spun sugar --
I want bitter, hard, honest truth,
truth that hurts,
truth that tastes bad, that makes me gag,
truth that's like chewing on glass,
like drinking poison
that clears the mind
instead of killing.
I don't want empty promises.

Give me the poison
but hold me when I curl up with the pain.

I don't want to be a princess,
don't want to be a queen.
I want to be your lady,
your love,
the one,
but most of all I want you to be my man.

I think I'm afraid I'm not cut out for this,
like maybe my eyes
don't reflect the light
they should.

I think I'm afraid,
because it takes one mistake
and then it all goes to hell.

I just need you to be there.
When I'm weak, be my strength.
When I'm sad, be my smile.
When I tell you it can't happen,
make me
make me
make me believe it will.
So riddled with doubt,
I'm like a voodoo doll pricked with needles from every angle,
and it hurts like you don't even know,
because I'm practical one day
full up of nonsense the next,
change allegiances like I change my shoes,
paint the walls with sunshine, then shadows,
dance in the rain,
then slip into the ocean,
so reach out, Love,

master me,

keep me from being a silly girl
and give me what I need.

Bitter poison,
that means that we'll be stuck forever side-by-side,
and damn the world,
and damn everything else,
because we'll be happier than we could ever dream.
Bitter poison,
that does away with my comfortable timidity.

Kill it.
Make me yours.
That's what I need.